Saturday, 5 July 2014

Can Love Happen More than Once? (Complete Part)

Part 1

I wanted to write on this topic from a long time as I find this topic to be very interesting and I have been discussing the same with singles, couples, gays, straight and every other species on this earth to get an overall picture. Some replied honestly, some gave fake answers but I feel that it all requires is to accept the fact that yes it can happen more than once even if you are in a relationship. To better understand this topic lets first define “What is love?”
 I have been into couple of relationships but honestly it’s very difficult for me to define the word Love. It’s very easy to write good words about love but very difficult to define. And I think it’s not about me, for every other male it is very difficult to define Love. Males are generally confused between love and lust and there is a very thin line between these two words and men are often found crossing the line.  When males behave normally they say very beautiful words and define their women like a poet describing and focusing on each and every body part of her. I remember once a woman ask her boyfriend to describe the feeling he have when he is with her, so the man started with all positive words comparing the eyes with an ocean, the woman smiled and kissed him and asked for more praises, then he said positive things about her hands, lips, hair and with every positive word he got a kiss, and as usual woman ask for more and the guy suddenly remembers the Britney’s song and said “forget love, kiss me baby one more time”, so it started beautifully but ultimately it ends up on the wrong road, so I can’t consider or describe what the word LOVE means for a guy as a guy will always be found on the other side of the line so it’s better you ask your partner what the word love means for him.
Now let’s talk about women, a woman in love can define love in more than thousand ways

1. it’s when you feel like heaven on earth.
2. it’s when his smile makes you forgets everything
3. it’s the butterflies in the stomach
4. it’s when you started smiling for no reason
5. it’s when you stop feeling hungry
6. it’s when you want to see him all the time
7. it’s when you are lost in some other world
8. it’s the jealousy when you find him talking to some other friend
9. it’s when you want to have 7 births with your partner (seriously, I have been into a relationship that does not last for 7 months, 7 births? This lady deserves a grand salute)
10. Stop, I cannot write all the thousand reasons, huuh

So the crux of the matter is that it s difficult for a male to define love and very easy for a female to define it, you know she can actually talk on this for hours without even letting you touch her. How it gonna feel if you take a girl out with great expectations (you know the word expectations, so define it accordingly) and you wanted her to act on the preaches of Baba Kaamdev but suddenly she becomes Baba Ramdev and started giving lectures on Love. Once it happened with me, freshly out of the school, first girlfriend, no earnings but wanted to impress her at any cost. She took me to a mall and as a gentleman (yes you have to be, does not matter what you actually thinking) I asked her what she would like to have and proudly she said “Chinese Platter”
And I was like OMG, I got a hi fi girl friend, she eat Chinese (till then Chinese for me was a Nepali brother making chowmein on Aggarwal sweet shop), so I went and asked for Chinese platter and the guy at the counter said Rs 550, I had 700-800 at that and with heavy heart I bought that Chinese Platter. After spending that much of the money now my expectations were sky high, so I asked her, “Can I get a hug after you finish this and she was, you are so lusty Jatin, it’s just our second date and you want a hug, do you know what Love is? And trust me after that she gave me lecture for an hour on true love, I still does not know what she said as I was waiting for her to complete her platter so that I can run towards my home.  She was a sweet lady and I am still in contact with her, I learn from her that Love can be define as the good time spend together which you will remember till the time you are alive and will bring a smile on your face whenever you think about that person, so for everyone Love has different definition, it’s better to leave this question and let the people decide how they want to define LOVE.
So now let’s focus on the second part “Can love happen more than once?” Let’s start with guys first
I asked one of my good friend who is married (he was sitting with his wife)
Me- Can love happen more than once?
Friend- Yes it can happen more than once (actually he went into emotions and forgets that he was sitting with his wife)
Suddenly his wife replied
Friend’s wife (in a strict tone) - why only more than once? Love can happen two times, three times, four times, five times
Friend (realising his mistake) – Yes, she is right, Love can happen five times
Me- But why only five times? If it can happen five times then it can happen sixth time also
Friend- I don’t know, she said five, so it can happen only five times
Friend’s wife- No, it can happen more than five times also
Friend- I told you, it can happen sixth time also, my wife is always right.

I don’t how he handles the situation after that but for a guy Love can happen “n” number of times; you know every day he falls in love with a smile of one, falls in love with eyes of another but actually want to settle with the third one. So for a guy love can definitely happen more than once. I remember a very interesting incidence, I went to an event with my office team mate and one of them was sitting with me, the anchor of the event asked, males who are in love please stand up and clap, suddenly the guy stand up and started clapping, after two minutes when he sits, he tapped on my hand

Colleague - you know when I stand up I saw a really hot looking lady sitting on your left side, look towards your left
MeWeren't you standing because you said you are in love?
Colleague- yes, I am in love.
Me- You still discussing the hotness of other woman?
Colleague- So, seeing one woman is allowed, it’s not a crime
Me- Who form this rule that you are allowed to see one woman apart from your girlfriend.
Colleague- I form this rule, seeing one woman is allowed, did I ever said that lady sitting behind you is also very hot, no, because I only saw the one sitting to your left side, see how loyal I am.
Me- oh, now I understand the rule.
 So this is about the guys, and now you know they can fall in love many times, but whatever I find males to be highly optimistic and innocent, they never ever said “NO” to a woman because they are highly optimistic (optimistic about pta nai isse kab setting ho jaaye, toh haan haan kehte chalo). Males are very cooperative also, they are always ready to help a woman

Female- can you drop me to my home?
Male – of course, you don’t have to ask, just order (Doesn't even matter if the woman is living in the opposite direction, the guy will drop her to her house even if he has to travel the whole globe.)
Female- Can you give me 10000 rupees, I will return it back next month.
Male- Of course, you don’t have to ask, just order ( doesn't even matter that his own salary is 15000, he will give 10000, even if after that he has to eat at the gurudwara)
So male breed is very innocent and cooperative breed.
So yes we males are dirty, we like messed up things and we have corrupt mind and with females we only think about one or two things but a successful woman is one who knows all this and still drive her man.

Now let’s talk about what females think about happening of love more than once

 I talked to many ladies on this topic and among them were singles, singles ready to mingle, engaged, confused, complicated and married ladies so to better understand ladies point of view on this topic it’s better to divide women into segments, for the sake of simplicity let’s divide them into three segments

1) Singles
2) Engaged/Married
3) Separated/Breakup

Singles- These ladies are not currently engaged but they felt love many times, in terms of attraction , so they simply say that when they feel attracted towards more than one person than Love can also happen more than one time. I know one cannot judge Love on the basis of crushes or attraction because point of view of those women who are currently engaged is entirely different from the singles.

Married/ Engaged- I believe women who are currently engaged also felt attraction towards other but it all depends on how much space her partner is giving to her to be vocal about such issues. I think when males can talk about women they also should that much space to her partner to discuss such issues. Saying that she felt attracted towards other male does not mean she wanted to live with her, and even if she is then you haven’t given her enough reasons to stay with you. I mean you can’t buy love, it comes automatically, engaged women also felt love for others or get attracted towards other males and her brain also knows it but somehow she tried to deceive her brain by giving excuses (What society is going to think, what about her character, what her partner is going to think, she can’t do it, it’s wrong) but she knows the reality. It’s on her partner in terms of how much freedom he is giving to her to discuss such matters, if she can discuss these things with you, trust me she will never ever leave you, as I wrote earlier in my article “That you can lick the body for few years but ultimately you have to live the PERSONALITY”, make her fall in love with your personality, your persona and she will never leave you. Don’t force love rather try to create it. Women are angels with wings; try to give her a platform where she can fly rather than breaking her wings by forcing rules and regulations. Till today I met one married woman who bluntly said in front of her husband that love can happen more than once and sometimes she felt attracted towards other males. I know her husband and I know how understanding her husband is. See we need to understand one thing attraction or love does not always mean sex or does not mean spending night together, I can be attracted towards someone’s smile, someone’s hair, personality but it does not mean that we both should be in a relationship or do dirty things (can guarantee about the women, but can’t say much about the males, no one can make correction in their thinking). Sometimes I also feel that women maintains double standards, I mean when a woman is single then Love can happen more than once but when the same women enters into a relationship then her point of view changes, I don’t know much about that, she knows the reality, I just want her to be strong to accept the reality.

Breakup- For this category we again have to divide the women into two segments
1. Recently Breakup
2. Not so recent breakup

Recent Breakup- Have you ever met someone who is going through the phase of breakup, this is the phase where you never know how woman is going to react, and then the picture starts suddenly she becomes the crying lady

“How can he leave me”
“Am I so bad?”
“Why me”
And you were like please don’t cry, everyone is looking towards us.
Then she becomes LALITA PAWAR
“Pta hai aapko mujhe isse bhi gandi gaaliyan aati hai, yeh toh aap baithe ho isliye main de nai rahi hu”
And you were like, calm down, calm down

Then she becomes the happiest lady on this earth
“acha hua jo chala gya”
“Zindagi happy ho gayi hai meri ab uske jaane ke baad”

And you were that’s the spirit lady, and then the main question comes, “DO YOU WANT TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN”
And then again she started crying, “Mera toh vishwas hi uth gaya hai pyaar se, sab ladke ek jaise hote hai, kutte, ab mummy papa hi dhundhenge ladka mere liye.

So you get the answer, woman who recently got breakup says that love can happen only once.

Not so recent Breakup- I met a woman whose boyfriend left her quite a while ago and she said yes love can happen more than once and she is ready for it, she was in a relationship, which didn’t worked out but now she want to enter into a new one. Sometimes woman enters into a relationship to make her ex boyfriend feels that she got a better boyfriend then you. So for this category Love can happen more than once.

So we know that women is slightly confuse whether Love can happen more than once or not, I just want to say one thing that “Lady you cannot fool/deceive your heart and mind, they know the reality.